... š¾
this is such a stupid concept and i hate the idea of sharing something and being associated through one "hub" but it's not really looked well upon to differentiate yourself so much in ways that the host(s) don't fuck with but sometimes i'm just here and i have to deal with life but i don't get to engage with it in any meaningful way and i think that's stupid but i get it at the same time because i don't really want anyone to look at me either. i always used private platforms and i still do because nobody who looks at me would understand anything except for my boyfriend. that's not really a lament i'm perfectly fine with it, it's the public sharing that i hate. we're not supposed to delete anything we say but now that i think about it this is all kind of stupid as fuck to share anywhere.
can you ignore me and start over
i want to play more RPGmaker games. i used to be obsessed with them years ago but i stopped doing things like that and stopped existing in general and i feel like i've been here all along and at the same time been here only months and it's so fucking jarring. one of the first things i did was play needy streamer overload and it's like my life is a satirical comedy post about typical idiot NEET women but i fill that completely (i don't say femcel here because i am owned and my soul is entwined in all ways with my beloved) i got super fixated on it and it became a focal point to rediscover myself through so now i'm like really indiepilled or whatever.
i used to joke about my source being super BPD when i was first around and look where i am now it was a JOKE but it WASN'T. I DIDN'T TALK TO ANY PEOPLE SO I DIDN'T THINK I FUCKING HAD IT i've always been stupid okay? that's the moral of my entry thanks for wasting your time