reasons 🐑

17 Dec, 2025

i think i have a pretty good idea of the combination of things wrecking my brain

1. substance abuse is no joke and going stone cold sober off of everything does actually have an impact, especially when still surrounded by mentions of it
2. going from living alone to living with people that have a very different and harsh perspective on life is also no joke

it's kind of obvious but i just thought there was something really wrong with me for not doing better

i can't really talk to anyone about it, it's a bore and it just makes people annoyed. but at least i can kind of understand why there's no light in life anymore, why i'm struggling so much with the basic motions. as for identifying a solution, well... i dunno... :( i can't move out like i wanted to, i can't progress in life if i don't lock myself into more education.

i feel like a cornered animal

i will have a couple weeks of respite with my beloved before i have to come back and suffer through Situations again. i wish i could stay there forever. i wish i could get away from it all and just spend my life with him. i hope something can work out in the near future, before i become entirely unlovable