spring š
it is a kind day. my boyfriend has been so sweet to me all weekend, and i love him dearly. i love playing sea of thieves with him. we played repo for the first time with a cool group of friends, he got it for me as a valentine's gift _ he makes me so happy. i love to talk about him.
i am having trouble with other things. i am having trouble with my stability in reality, i guess. it is hard to explain. i wake up, and i feel as if time is false, i feel as if anything i do is a meaningless loop within a dream. i'm trying to combat this, against my deeper wishes to delve into conspiracies and ways to disappear. it's funny how stupid it all sounds when i write it out. i've been flooding myself with videos of people living normal lives. i wish i could mimic it. i'll just do my best, i'll keep trying to do my best. it'll be over in a few months.
